Coexist

As I sit here in the lounge, an imminent all-nighter ahead of me, I find the need to write something. Something honest, without reservation. I don't know exactly what. It just feels like it has been a very long time since I have been able to do that. Everything has been so cryptic. This once was an outlet, a release of emotion, a place to concentrate on only one thing... myself. I have strayed from that. I am returning.

There are only two emotions I know of so far that can truly consume your life. They take every fiber of your being and engulf you. They alter your state of mind and your outlook on most things. They take very simple moments and turn them into something new. They wash over you in an instant without a second to catch your breath. You feel these emotions tingling over every inch of your body. They turn you into someone new. Someone you didn't even know existed. Both of these emotions are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. It is ironic that these emotions are polar opposites. Love and hate. I have found (neither confirmed nor denied) that these emotions can never coexist. They take to much out of you. You dedicate too much to each of them.
One of them is something beautiful. Something to hold onto.
The other is a waste of life. It turns good moments into something putrid.
There is the need for one and NEVER the need for the other.

I cannot believe how ignorant I have been. There have been beautiful, precious moments passing by. Ones that I will never get back. I will no longer waste time thinking of lost moments but cherish the ones of the future present. I am dedicated to moving on, not with memories of negativity but of lessons learned, and the promise to myself to never let it happen again.

Hatred paralyses life; love release it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it - Martin Luther King Jr.